Burning Butterflies

Months of Insanity: The End of Chapter 3

Chapter 3, Episode 16
In this episode of Burning Butterflies, Amanda and Melissa dive into the whirlwind that was the final months of 2016.
They recount the escalating infighting within the church, the growing tension between key leaders, and the emotional ordination of Pastor Young Gun. As they close out Chapter 3 of their story, they reflect on the emotional toll these events took on them and their community. The episode ends with an exciting sneak peek into Chapter 4, where even more secrets will unravel, setting the stage for what’s to come.
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Marriages on Fire: The Flames We Didn't Ask For

Chapter 3, Episode 15
 
Join Amanda and Melissa as they take a deep dive into a marriage ministry the church attempted to implement, which spiraled out of control almost immediately. What started as a well-intentioned effort to strengthen the marriages within the congregation quickly turned into a disaster that did far more harm than good.
 
The idea was simple: weekly workshops designed to help married couples rekindle their love, navigate challenges, and build a faith-centered partnership. However, the lack of communication between leadership leads to other ministries being effected.
 
Things took a turn for the bizarre when an older woman in the church took it upon herself to intervene in the marriages of the younger couples. Her meddling started with unsolicited advice but soon escalated into something much more uncomfortable.
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The Price of Ignorance: Melissa’s Hell, Amanda’s Detachment

Chapter 3, Episode 14
 
In this gripping episode, Melissa breaks her silence about the summer she vanished from VBS without warning, leaving everyone scrambling to pick up the pieces. The ladies unpack the personal turmoil Melissa was facing at the time, shedding light on the real reason for her sudden disappearance. Meanwhile, Amanda reflects on how, at the time, she was too distracted by the unraveling of her friendship with the children's ministry leader to fully see what Melissa was going through.
 
But the story doesn't end there. Just weeks after the VBS incident, Froggy shows his true nature in a shocking public display. Desperate for help, Melissa turned to the church, only to have Tom step in, shutting down any attempt to offer her support and sweeping the abuse under the rug.
 
This episode pulls back the curtain on the toxic dynamics at play, exposing the cracks in both the leadership and the friendships that held everything together.
 
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Celebrate Sisterhood: The Retreat That Broke Us

Chapter 3, Episode 13
 
In this explosive episode of Burning Butterflies, we dive into the chaos of the Celebrate Sisterhood Women's Retreat—a weekend meant for bonding, healing, and sisterhood that instead became a battlefield of emotions. Petty grievances turning into full-blown conflicts, revealing the cracks in friendships that once felt unbreakable.
 
Charolette weaves her way through all the drama, subtly manipulating situations to her advantage, leaving a trail of fractured relationships in her wake and Amanda getting screamed at by Tom. Buckle up for a raw and unfiltered look at the retreat that broke us apart.
 
Burning Butterflies is a listener supported podcast. Please check out our Patreon to learn more about how you too can support what we are doing!
 
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Marriage Conference Madness: Moms Gone Wild

Chapter 3, Episode 12
 
Pastor Young Gun sees a need to strengthen marriages within the church and brings the idea of a marriage conference to the leadership team. Newly licensed Pastor Vanilla, eager to prove himself, suggests a ministry he's previously participated in, but Tom quickly shuts it down, insisting that the only acceptable resource comes from Come As You Are. Determined to take control, Tom decides to "write" his own conference, but when the big day arrives, everything quickly unravels.
 
Childcare is in disarray, with Brandi being the only adult in the room. As dinner is served for the conference goers, an argument breaks out in the sanctuary, spilling into the gym. Brandi is left trying to keep the peace as emotions run high, and punches nearly fly between a group of women.
 
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New Leaders, New Struggles, Same Narcissism

Chapter 3, Episode 11
 
In this episode of Burning Butterflies, we dive into the churchwide aftermath of the California trip. Tom finally gets what he's always wanted—another leader who loves and leads the church with as much passion as he does. Pastor Young Gun jumps in with both feet and seems to be a perfect fit. But as he begins to connect with the congregation on a deeper level, genuinely caring for their well-being, something strange happens. Instead of embracing this fresh approach, Tom starts to feel the pressure. What happens when someone steps in and actually does the work Tom claims to value? Is Tom's vision for the church truly about serving the people, or is it about maintaining control? Tune in as we unravel the tensions and power struggles that emerge when genuine leadership meets ego-driven authority.
 
Burning Butterflies is a listener supported podcast. Please check out our Patreon to learn more about how you too can support what we are doing!
 
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The Weight of Perfection: Amanda's Dark Path

Chapter 3, Episode 10
TW: suicide and depression
 
In this raw and eye-opening episode, Amanda shares her personal journey of being overwhelmed by the pressures of ministry, leading a mom's group, and trying to embody the ideal Proverbs 31 wife and mother. This relentless pursuit of perfection led her down a dark and dangerous path.
 
Together, the ladies dissect how the church's expectations and the pressure to be the "perfect" Christian woman can push women to their breaking point. They discuss the unrealistic standards that are often placed on women, the emotional toll of constant striving, and how these pressures are deeply rooted in the systemic oppression of women within the evangelical church.
 
This episode is a must-listen for anyone who has ever felt crushed by the weight of expectations or who wants to better understand the often-hidden struggles of women in the church. The conversation is both heart-wrenching and empowering as the ladies explore paths to healing and reclaiming one's identity beyond the walls of the church.
 
If you are struggling, call 988.
 
Burning Butterflies is a listener supported podcast. Please check out our Patreon to learn more about how you too can support what we are doing!
 
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The Phantom Conference: A Misleading Pilgrimage to Saddleback

Chapter 3, Episode 9
 
In this eye-opening episode, the ladies unravel the curious tale of Tom's grand plan to indoctrinate Pastor Young Gun by taking him and a dozen others on a transformative journey "Mother Land," a conference at Saddleback Church led by none other than Rick Warren himself. But there’s a twist: the conference never existed. Rick Warren wasn’t even in the country.
 
So, where did the church's money go? And how did Tom manage to manipulate this trip to mold not only Young Gun but also the cherry picked group of up-and-coming leaders within the church? Join us as we expose the truth behind this deceptive scheme, shedding light on the lengths some will go to maintain control and power, all while leaving their congregation in the dark.
 
Burning Butterflies is a listener supported podcast. Please check out our Patreon to learn more about how you too can support what we are doing!
 
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From Controlling to Calling: The Rise of Pastor Young Gun

Chapter 3, Episode 8
 
In this episode of Burning Butterflies, we dive into the dramatic shift that occurs when Pastor Young Gun arrives at the high-control evangelical church, Come As You Are.
 
Known for his dictatorial leadership, Tom keeps a tight grip on his congregation, discouraging any form of independent thought or leadership. But when the young, energetic, and personable Pastor Young Gun steps onto the scene, everything changes. Fresh from seminary, he connects with the congregation in ways Tom never could—teaching scripture with passion and encouraging members to step into their God-given roles as leaders.
 
What happens when a community raised under strict control is suddenly given the freedom to explore their faith and leadership? So much happens! Oh, so much!
 
Burning Butterflies is a listener supported podcast. Please check out our Patreon to learn more about how you too can support what we are doing!
 
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Fragile Bonds: Women Desperate for Connection

In this episode of Burning Butterflies, we dive into the relationships that women had with one another at Come As You Are Church.
 
The summer of 2015 felt almost utopian for the women in the congregation. With Tom and Charlotte preoccupied with the construction of their new home, the women experienced an unprecedented level of freedom. They served and functioned in ways they felt God was calling them, fostering supportive relationships and sharing things with one another that would typically be considered taboo in evangelical circles.
 
But as the fall approached and Tom and Charlotte shifted their focus back to church matters, the delicate fabric of these relationships began to unravel. Mom's Group begins to show their first signs of cracks and Amanda and Brandi are desperate to keep it going. Melissa, isolated in her marriage, stives to make connections wherever she can.
 
Burning Butterflies is a listener supported podcast. Please check out our Patreon to learn more about how you too can support what we are doing!
 
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